Home > Humor > Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road v.2008

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road v.2008

Time to take a break from all this serious stuff!  New twist on “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”  

 The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! 
  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. 
 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn’t about me……. 
 DR. PHIL:  
 The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems. 
 Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. 
 We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. 
 We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. 
 That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. 
 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. 
 Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told. 
 To die in the rain. Alone. 
 Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?  That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ 
 Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. 
 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 
 Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. 
 I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#&&^C% …….. reboot. 
 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? 
 I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! …….. What is your definition of chicken? 
 Did I miss one? 
 Where’s my gun? 
 Why are all the chickens white? ……..We need some black chickens! 

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  1. May 17, 2008 at 10:33 am

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  2. pstarr999
    May 17, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    I like the Hillary one the best!

  3. May 17, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    Thanks for your comment on my blog, not sure what a fistulagram is to be honest, have had a transposition of my fistula (maybe this is what you mean) Hopefully will have a scan next week and will see what the Docs say!

    Great news about your transplant! Keep well

    regards Holly

    PS great blog x

  4. May 17, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    I posted a response on your blog.

  5. May 18, 2008 at 4:05 am

    Thanks for that Jeff, I have had this done 3 times too over here its called an angioplasty (the same name given to the procedure done to the heart) It was sucessful and the buzz in my fistula increased due to this. I still had to have the transposition of my fistula which is bringing it to the surface ready for needling as it was deep in my arm!

    Thanks again 4 your quick response, I’ll keep updated on your progress with your transplant, take care x

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